Developing Positive Relationships with Parents

by Shelley Gray on May 18, 2012

Good relationships with your students are essential, but good relationships with parents are just as important for ensuring  academic success. But how do you develop strong relationships with parents?

 1. Let down your defenses:  When a parent approaches you with a concern, whether it be about her child or about your teaching, it is normal to get defensive. After all, it feels like you are being criticized. However, once you get defensive, it will usually only escalate the situation more and will not satisfy either party. Instead of trying to defend your teaching, first validate what the parent is concerned about by saying something such as, “I understand your concern…” Then explain your reasoning in a non-defensive way. This will help to build respect and trust.

2. Encourage involvement: Parents should feel like they can be involved with all aspects of their child’s education. Encourage parents to volunteer in the classroom if they are willing. Other ways that parents can volunteer without being in the classroom include preparing materials or helping on field trips.

 3. Start and finish positive: In every interaction that you have with a parent, start and finish on a positive note by telling them something good that their child has done. Remember that parents of children with behavior problems have probably heard the same old negative comments a million times, so surprise them by giving them positive feedback before and after you discuss improvements that need to be made.

 4. Communicate: Ensure that your lines of communication are open with parents. Whether you choose to communicate by phone, email or in person, touch base with every parent on a regular basis. Take the time to email or call  just to tell them something positive about their child, rather than saving the phone calls for negative events.

5. Don’t assume: Don’t make the mistake of assuming that parents know what their child is learning in school, or how to help them at home. Education is much different today than it was thirty years ago, and parents may be very unaware of new techniques and teaching strategies. Take the time to show parents how their children are being taught. For example, at parent-teacher conferences, show parents how to help their child ask questions during reading, or add 2-digit numbers without using traditional carrying.

Remember that in every interaction with a parent, you have the power to make it a positive experience. It’s in your hands!

Teaching in the Early Years

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  • lauraparkerblog

    Shelley– great points here!  I loved this and have found it to be very true:

    “ Instead of trying to defend your teaching, first validate what the parent is concerned about by saying something such as, “I understand your concern…” Then explain your reasoning in a non-defensive way. This will help to build respect and trust.” 

    It’s so easy to take everything soooo personally, and I agree that the best approach is to be focused on the parent/child first instead of escalating the situation. Humility often disarms the bomb, right?

    I also liked your point about starting and ending positively– and surprising parents with that.  

    Great post, Shelley– glad you are on the team here!

    • Shelley Gray

      Thanks so much Laura!

  • Janet Abercrombie

    This year, I keep reminding myself, “Just make the phone call.” Emails are easily misinterpreted. Since I haven’t kept with my goal of making positive phone calls every week, then the phone call signals to the parent that there is bad news – or something serious to talk about.

    Yet, most of my students’ parents respond with, “Thanks for letting me know. I’ll have a discussion with my child tonight.” Parents are wonderfully supportive – so why do I stress so much over the calls?

    Just make the call :) .
    Janet | expateducator.com

    • Shelley Gray

      It’s so great that you have supportive parents, Janet! You have obviously taken the time to build trust and respect with them. And you are correct about emails being misinterpreted easily as well. It is so important to re-read and make sure that your tone sounds appropriate :)

      Thanks for your comment! Have a great day,

      Shelley

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